I have dreams too.
My number one dream was to be a mom. This has been the single most amazing experience of my life. I have never felt love as I do now and I have never been so happy.
I have creative dreams that are so impossible-seeming that they are on the verge of being given up.
I want to be a professional photographer.
I want to be the photographer that people brag about to their friends. I want to create amazing imagery. I want to make my family proud. I want to make myself proud.
As soon as I type those words a
And my problem is I don't know how to get past that.
I know my pictures are good but 90% of them have been shoots with Brett & Neely. The other few shoots I've done have been for friends so that is not as scary, although it was scaryish.
I am so scared to try. I am scared to fail. I am scared of disappointing people.
My fear is stifling.
And it's been over a year since I was "working toward" this dream and nothing has changed. I haven't done one paying photo shoot this year. I am not even set on a name.
It's so frustrating.
I need someone to help me and to hold my hand and guide me.
I'm only posting this HONEST entry because it's all I'm thinking about right now.
I am really at a loss.
Do I give up my dream of doing it professionally or somehow get past all of this?