One week ago, at this exact time, we were walking through the doors of the doctor's office excited beyond words to see our little baby and finally tell everyone we were expecting. My due date was Mother's Day, May 12th. How cruel is that?
I asked my mom to please pray I'm pregnant by then or else it'll be difficult.
My last miscarriage's due date was the date my first miscarriage happened. What is up with that? Why all these significant dates?
Anyway... we all know what happened one week ago.
I know that out of the hundreds of people who read my blog entry, some must be wondering why I'm putting all of my business on the internet. I've been a h u g e believer in not putting too much personal emotional drama on Facebook. I know some people who only complain and complain about personal stuff and I hide them because it's so obnoxious. So my intent is not to be that guy.
I vehemently HATE the stigma attached to miscarriage. For some reason women feel embarrassed that it happened to them, embarrassed for telling everyone they were pregnant, embarrassed about it all. I hate that. Would you be embarrassed if your grandma died? No. Then why be embarrassed about a BABY living inside of your BODY dying??
People put EVERYTHING on Facebook, from fights with spouses or friends (1000% inappropriate) to passive-agressive digs at whomever. Yet, we aren't supposed to put anything that personal up?
THIS is why I put it out there. When I had my first one, I was alone in my pain and 8 other women at church were pregnant. No one really knew what to do or say, but little by little I heard secret stories of women who had gone through the same thing. With my second one I heard even more secret stories. And now with this one I think to myself, "Sheesh. Why should women only feel comfortable to "admit" they've suffered a loss of this magnitude when someone else has had the same experience?"
I don't want a secret society of bereaved women. I want to be a place where women can be loud and not ashamed of their loss(es). I want to be a stronger woman and I want to know strong women who help and encourage each other, NOT secretly, to walk through this pain and sorrow and come out on the other side.
I fully believe that talking, being an open book about loss (no matter what kind of loss), is a key in the healing process. I've lost enough in my life to have proved this to be true.
Since 1988, October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Specifically, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. If you've been hiding in your sorrow, October 15th, next Monday, is a perfect day to put your story out there. It will set you free and you could inspire and help someone else! I really encourage you to write a special blog that day (here is mine from last year) and post it.
Be brave! Be strong! You are loved.