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ON NOT LETTING GO


Kindergarten started this week. 
I was dreading this day since she turned five. (I didn't tell her that, obviously.)
We have never been apart from each other and I knew it was going to be rough.
I didn't know how rough it would be.
As the school year loomed closer I realized how much I believe in home school. 
Not just because I want to be with her all of the time (even though I do), but also because I am afraid the California education system will crush her creative, nature-loving self. 
Kindergarten here is SIX HOURS and in those SX HOURS they do absolutely NO exploring, NO nature walks, NO studies on animals, NO artistic endeavors (except starting next week she will paint a letter on a piece of paper.), NOTHING that makes Neely Neely.

She has sobbed every day and night since kindergarten started. 
I hope it gets better, I hope so for her sake, but I also am not letting go of HER and of my idea of homeschool.

Hope next week is better.


1 comment:

  1. I know it feels like a crushing repression of their soul and artistic spirit, but it's not [completely] I promise. Rory is the same way and if left to her own devises would make fairy nests and do crafts all day long. She loves school; there is so much wonderful socialization that she gets out of being around so many of her peers all day long. The walkway up to school is like a red carpet every time she walks it, and she proudly walks it every day, waving at every smiling friend she passes. (This part I am told, as sadly, I don't even get to experience this myself because I start work before school and end long after). She has science every Thursday and knows more about animals and science than I think I ever learned! And the school has a volunteer artist program that arranges for 6 structured art projects each year where where they get to learn about a specific artist (like van Gogh) and do a project based on them (like starry night). I actually had an all out fight with her the other day when I picked her up from primetime (the school sponsored after school program) because they had JUST started an art project and she refused to leave until she could finish it. I have a huge stack of artwork and pictures that Rory had accumulated from last year, and since I can't save all of it, I picked out my very favorites to keep in her memory box, and the rest I took pictures of and put in a file for her artwork for the year. Also, there are several awesome programs that coordinate with the school that you can put her in. Rory did heartlight last year which was after school once a week for a few hours learning dancing then got to perform at the Organ Pavilion at Balboa park. And we also did a science one where she got to do a different experiment each week. And they were TOTALLY reasonably priced. (Since we could never afford expensive extra curricular activities, even if we could manage to work our schedules to bus them around to them).

    Is it enough? No - they still concentrate more on reading, writing and math than they do on the soft sciences and arts. And that is a travesty. But there are dedicated parents and school employees and programs who are doing the best they can with the resources they are given to make sure the kids are still getting as much as possible. My advise is to try to help in any way possible to be involved and support what your school is doing. Join the PTA or foundation so you know the fundraising opportunities (since the money for these programs isnt coming from the state, they have to fund raise to do it.)

    As far as Neely being upset; its a huge adjustment; she's only been with you for all this time and hasn't had a lot of regular/consistent peer interactions so it's a huge transition two fold. First being away from you, and second being thrown in with a room FULL of kids her age all day every day when before shes really only had short play dates with a few peers. BUT she will adjust, because she has an AMAZING mom and dad who are so sensitive to her feelings and needs, and will be there for her every emotion she goes through. And kids have an incredible capacity for adapting.

    Hang in there mama, you are doing an awesome job, and I promise it will get better, for both of you!

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