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Thanksgiving 2011

This year due to my grandma dying a few days before Thanksgiving, I didn't feel up to going to be with Brett's family.
Instead, we got coffee in the morning, took a drive and watched the waves and then I came home and cooked for 3+ hours! I LOVE COOKING. So much.
For our meal we had homemade mashed potatoes, homemade creamed spinach, bbq corn-on-the-cob, and yummy real green bean casserole! It was all soo good!

We didn't get a good family pic because it was my first time using the timer remote and the cup was in front of Neely's face and Neely was 6 seconds from melting down! Also I don't have a good tripod. Oh well...next year!


On Grief

The past few weeks of my life have been incredibly difficult.
I watched my grandma die.
I didn't watch her take her last breath, but I watched her die all the same.

Handling grief when you have an extremely smart and aware toddler is interesting. You can't just fall apart whenever you want. You can't collapse into a sobbing heap in front of them. Toddlers do not need to be exposed to that kind of emotion.

My grieving process began before my grandma actually died. I grieved over her every day while I was in Las Vegas. My grief was limited to my morning shower (while Neely was in her playpen in another room) and to solo car rides. I would cry so hard I felt my eyes would pop out of my head. I cried so hard I couldn't see while driving. I would cry so hard my face would be swollen all day.  I'm pretty sure that week and a half aged me several years.
I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life.
Then she died and...nothing.
Well, there were some tears but not a ton. I guess that's what happens when you've already cried daily for two weeks.

Now I'm back home and trying to go about my business as usual. But I will get these random "I'll never" or "she'll never" thoughts. Thoughts like "She'll never again be my pen pal," "I'll never again get kissed by her," etc. And I wince and push the sadness down. I'm kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the deluge to commence.

Her funeral is on the 4th.

I am basically writing this to say, I am sad. I am terribly sad and as Christmas draws near I will probably be more sad.
BUT.
I will act happy. I will be smiling and seem normal.
Don't mistake my act for thinking I'm no longer sad.

My grandma left a giant hole in my life and it will take some time to recover.

Sarah Alice Slack

1928-2011

I type this through my tears to let you know my grandma is gone.
I know she's in a better place, blah blah blah. I need to sit in my broken-heartedness for a while before I hear stuff like that.
I will eventually write a tribute post for her, but now all words escape me except for "I miss you."
I will never stop missing her until I see her again.

Her Hands


Her hands have shown me such love throughout my life.
They are beautiful.
I will hold her hand daily until she sees Jesus face to face.

Grandma Update

I'm in Vegas, have been here since Thursday night.
This stroke business is no joke. It damaged about a quarter of her brain.
She is laying in a hospital bed, unable to really wake up.
At first, after she was admitted, she could wake up. She was able to watch me and Neely and my cousin Katy and her son Cooper. She smiled as the toddlers ran amuck in her room. She gave us kisses and even said a few words. That was Friday.
Today is the third day in a row that she can't wake up. And by that I mean that she looks like she's sleeping, she sounds like she's sleeping but she's not. She struggles to open her eyes even a slit.
Her breathing is so labored you know it must be painful.
Her mouth is dry, her fingers are swollen.
She is not my normal grandma. She would hate to be laid out in the hospital like this.
I don't even know if she knows anymore. We don't know how aware she is but we do know she can hear us.
We stretch out our visits and make sure every few hours someone is there for at least an hour.
She has some great daughters, let me tell you. My mom and aunt have been there around the clock.
They are utterly spent.
This time is so emotionally taxing for all of us.
Today I allowed my self to sob for a minute, then I had to pull myself together so Neely didn't see me.
Grandma will soon go to heaven and finally see Jesus face to face. She'll be reunited with my beautiful grandpa and she'll be loving on my babies who are there.
It's such an exciting thing to think about!
On earth, we will desperately miss her, I already miss her and she's only a couple miles away, but we will see her again.

Please pray that she will be out of pain and discomfort soon. This is no way for my tiny grandma to live or die.
I really appreciate all of the kind words and prayers we've received. Thank you.

Pinterest Recipe| Penne with Roasted Asparagus and Balsamic Butter


No news on my grandma as of yet.

Yesterday I was browsing on Pinterest and saw a delicious looking picture of penne pasta. It looked super easy so I decided to give it a go!
Sure enough, the recipe could not have been easier to make and it was SO GOOD.
Not only does Pinterest give me fun crafts and inspiring ideas, it also feeds my family! This is the second or third food item I've made from pinned recipes and they've all been perfection!

My Grandma


This picture was taken November 7, 2011.
November 8, 2011, my grandma was rushed by ambulance to the ER then ICU.
She is not doing well.
Please pray for my lovely sweet grandma.
She is so dear to me. I love her more than anyone knows.
Thank you.

I Love My Family

I have been sick since Friday and today I finally feel human again! We met my parents for coffee in the morning before they left town and we had our own family adventures!
I'll post pictures of all that in the days to come but for now, here are two pics of my lovely family. They are my world!

DIY Thank-You Cards

I recently had a birthday and was given very nice gifts by my friends and family! Since they went through all the trouble to give me thoughtful gifts I figured I should send them thoughtful thank-you cards.

These are so simple you probably could look at them and know how to make them but just in case...

Supplies:
- several pieces of plain 5x7 cardstock (I happen to have tons of thick art paper laying around so I used that. Any thick paper is fine.)
- sewing machine loaded with thread (I used hot pink on the top and white on the bobbin so it would blend in with the paper more.)
- scrap fabric
- pen
- washi tape (I got mine here)

Instructions:

  1. Fold each paper in half.
  2. Unfold so that you only sew on one side of the card.
  3. Take scrap fabric and place on card in intended position.
    1.  When sewing on paper it's important to use a thicker needle and adjust your machine's tension before sewing. My machine is set at a 4, but each machine is different.
  4. Sew!
  5. Leave ends loose for a more organic feel. I didn't worry about back-stitching because it'll most likely get thrown away once it's read, it's just for the initial look.
  6. Write sentiment on front and inside!
  7. Seal envelope with washi tape to complete the look!
These cute cards will be a welcome addition to anyone's mailbox! Don't stop at just thank-you's, send notes to just say hi!
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Halloween 2011

This post is a couple days overdue, but here is the cutest garden gnome in the world!!


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